oh, AND she's in glee

i met idina menzel on saturday.

yep. thats right, elphaba walked right in to lucky pie. and, in response to my dad’s text, no, she was not green - unfortunately. she was, however, wonderfully and jewishly pale and out to dinner with her family, (no strikingly handsome, bald, black man to be found, but she DID have her adorable nugget with her) presumably preparing for her show at red rocks on sunday. you may be asking yourself ‘preparing’? what was she doing that could be considered vocal prep at the pie hole? why - drinking beer and eating pizza, of course! (ok, so i have no idea what she ate because i wasn’t allowed to wait on her. i just like to imagine thats how all broadway stars get ready for a big show...)

and yes, thats right, i said i wasn’t allowed to wait on her. in fact, my initial reaction to her remarkably close presence frightened a few of my coworkers in to suggesting it might be in my best interest to avoid her completely. seriously? you are telling me NOT to go meet one of my idols? don’t you know who that is?! (they did not.) that’s maureen!!! i simply could not understand why they would make such an outrageous suggestion! i mean, just because i was one step away from needing to breathe into a paper bag and my hands were shaking to the point of being unable to carry a tray. geez! isn’t that how everyone would react? no?

i work with a bunch of guys - beer drinking, baseball watching, unwashed, hippie guys. did i mention they’re all straight? needless to say, i was alone in my seemingly-over-the-top adoration. anyone who has ever seen my enthusiasm while belting along to ‘take me or leave me’ or ‘defying gravity’ can probably understand the impact meeting idina menzel had on me. i mean, i’ve had a framed ‘rent’ poster on my wall since middle school. and if you think that poster came to college with me, you’d be right. so basically idina has been starring down at me (wearing cat ears and a pleather jumpsuit) for nearly a decade. [side note to creepers: no, it’s not a photo of just her in that outfit! the whole cast is on the poster! come on, now. lets not get carried away]

while waiting for the perfect moment to approach her, (don’t worry, i totally waited till she was done eating and about to leave. ‘cause i’m classy, duh) a line from the movie ‘notting hill’ kept repeating over and over in my head. it’s when the goofy sister of hugh grant meets his movie star date for the evening. completely star struck and googley, she says ‘this is one of those key moments in life where it’s possible you can be really, genuinely cool and i’m going to fail just 100%.” all i could think was: don’t. be. awkward. ok - that’s a total lie. that's not ALL i could think. i DID have those thoughts numerous times, but they were scattered intermittently amongst louder thoughts of “holy shit!” - “there’s a poster of you on my bedroom wall!” - “do you know how many hours i’ve spent singing along with your voice?!?! you’re gorgeous, gorgeous voice!” - “omg, what was jonathan larson like?!” - “oooooooh, what is lea michelle like?” - “you’re baby is too cute! does he sing yet? can i touch his hair?! do you need a nanny, because i’m willing to relocate!” - “WANNA BE FRIENDS?!”

it’s a good thing i’ve seen ‘notting hill’ upwards of 50 times and was able to talk myself out of being the crazy, creepy fan (even though thats clearly what i am. evident by my previous, mildly embarrassing, admission). in the end i simply told her i was a huge, huge fan and was completely thrilled to meet her. then, so as not to get awkward, i turned my attention to the scrumptious little nugget in her arms. and not to brag, but he totally shared his firetruck with me. it was pretty awesome. his mom must have thought so too, because she then gave me (and the teenage hostess who was almost as excited as i was) her agent’s number to call for tickets to her show the following night. “no pressure or anything,” she says, “but if you want to come see the show daphne can set you up with tickets.” no pressure?! seriously?!?!?! it was basically one of the best moments of my life. and not awkward at all! ok, ok, so there may have been an unplanned wink at some point during the brief conversation, but i tend to get a little twitchy when i get to that degree of nervous. and i think i passed it off as an interaction with the baby. possibly. i hope. but, hey, i definitely did my best.

the show the following night was incredible. the guest conductor for the colorado symphony orchestra was the legendary marvin hamlisch, which was certainly an unexpected bonus. but, for me, nothing compared to the nice jewish girl skipping barefoot around stage in a beautifully flowing yellow dress, singing the incredible songs that so significantly impacted my relationship with musical theatre, and thus baaasically changed my life.

i’d also like to add, that my favorite part of the show was when she forgot the lyrics to ‘defying gravity.’ what can i say? i’m a sucker for beautiful imperfection. and irony. i love me some irony.

gotta love her, dont-cha-know?

the following conversation recently took place. the absolute ridiculousness of the content is just the inspiration i was searching for to come back to the blogosphere.

me: lauren got engaged last night
mom: oh, thats nice. where's that one going to be?
me: minneapolis
mom: well, aloha

pause for obvious confusion

me: um... what? did you just say aloha in reference to minnesota?
mom (completely serious): howdy!
me: howdy?! are you joking? seriously, is this a joke?
mom (laughing but, beginning to become frustrated): well, what do they say there?!
me: don't-cha-know? did you mean to say don't-cha-know, and actually said aloha? because thats not even a little bit close to the same thing... i mean, hawaii and minnesota? that't about as opposite as it gets. unless, of course, you throw texas into the mix. then, it may even become MORE opposite. are you serious right now?! is this conversation actually happening?
mom (happy to finally be on the same page): oh, well see! you knew what i meant!

this, ladies and gentlemen, is what i'm dealing with...

17 or 71?

i didn’t watch the grammy awards. i actually didn’t even know they happened until late this afternoon. does this make me out of touch? unaware of my cultural surroundings? dare i say, old? at the age of 24 i have been declared elderly. by my father. ouch.

after i realized that i’d never heard of the majority of winners he mentioned, it was hard not to consider the possibility that my dad’s sarcastic remarks may hold some shameful validity. the truth is, i don’t know what the kids are listening to these days. that is, of course, unless i’ve been introduced to these young-people tunes by the cast of glee. because, as i told my dad in defense, my ipod (and internal radio) is always rocking out to cory monteith and crew. all glee, all the time.

wait. isn’t that more descriptive of a pre-teen than a senior citizen?

hmm, something to ponder...

dancing through life

i am not a dancer. anyone who has ever seen me in the boom-boom room at the hawk can attest to that. and i’ve certainly never been a dancer in the traditional sense. i learned early on that it’s impossible to be a triple threat when you’re physically incapable of moving the top and bottom halves of your body at the same time. (ok - i’ll be honest - i can barely move them separately. seriously. i break body parts walking upstairs. that’s right. walking.)

the point is, it’s a metaphor.

and the reason i especially love this - in reference to my pseudo-nonsensical, utterly ridiculous, charmingly fabulous life - is because of the irony in my awkward clumsiness.

i haven’t always been this way. (i don’t think...) but i’ve come to accept that, along with being severely directionally challenged, i’m handicapped in the area of coordination. when people fall or drop something at work, they call it ‘pulling a jenn.’ (don’t worry - i’ve become numb to the truthful sting of their jabs.)

the point is, it’s ironic.

besides the obvious gleeky undertones, anything that is both metaphoric AND ironic is fittingly descriptive as far as i am concerned. because nothing is more autobiographical than a two-for-one, high school lit. class throwback and theatre reference. i mean, that’s basically all i’m about.

well, that and sarcasm. i’m really in to that too.